2022.9.15
I first encountered Ji Na-young on YouTube after she was recommended at a reading group. I came to know her while seeking advice on the direction of parenting, but her life story resonated with me too, so I came to read the book. The author, who lived a passionate life listening to her own voice, is a person like a star (perhaps the sun) who lights a fire of passion in those around her. As a YouTuber she provides various content, so if reading a book feels burdensome, you can meet the author more easily.
The author's voice, saying that the up-and-down intonation of the Daegu dialect is "a huge advantage" for speaking English, rings in my ears like an audiobook from the beginning to the end of the book. A book I read straight through in 2 to 3 hours. It has parts in common with Professor Lee Kwang-hyung's book I read recently.
Chapter 1 tells the story of how a great trial like a large stone struck her, who had run forward busily and diligently. The author, who had been thriving without major setbacks in the life she wanted, developed an autonomic nervous system disorder, and through this her perspective on life changed.
Chapter 2. Things that finally become visible once you lighten the weight of life. The things the author realized in Chapter 2 had many points that resonated with me too.
- That you must respect yourself more than others.
You teach people how to treat you.
- That the truly important value lies within.
To not care about how your appearance is judged in others' eyes, you need a healthy self-image and confidence. In adolescence, one is especially affected by the expectations of those around and the standards of the peer group. In Korea's case, these expectations and standards are skewed toward the outward and material rather than the person's ability or character.
A confident attitude, a firmness that is kind and considerate yet keeps boundaries, a broad smile that does not care how the face looks, a natural seasoning that comes with the years.. perhaps we should live striving to cultivate these things more.
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Focus on what you do well rather than what you lack.
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Say "NO" to things that are not important.
Life is not infinite to begin with, and the energy I can exert within life is also limited. So I must use good energy on what is truly necessary and build a worthwhile life. Life is too short even just to do the things I truly want.
Our life flows in the direction I speak and think (self-fulfilling prophecy). Chapter 3. The things that make me from within me.
- Like a pit bull that, once it bites a dream, does not let go.
Whatever you learn, if you know the principles, you can apply them to all kinds of situations. Simply because I walked the path I wished to walk, and because I did what I myself considered worthwhile, wherever I arrive, I will have no regret.
- To engage life sincerely.
The more the answer is not in sight, the more we must examine the core principles of our own life and think about the direction we truly want. Rather than listening to what others want from me, I must live listening to the voice of my own true heart.
To properly hear my heart's voice, I must strip away the expectations and gazes of those around about what kind of person I should be and what actions I should take. This compulsion stems from belonging, an instinctive human desire — that is, the thought that one must fit into some frame. Living like myself, truthfully, I can meet people who suit me within that, and there also arises the experience of feeling true belonging there. I take the time of seeking my true self as "solitude."
- We are all the same and yet different.
"Compare apples and oranges"
- Mindfulness meditation
The practice of focusing on what I feel and experience now: 4-2-4, and once accustomed, 4-7-8, sustained for 5 to 10 minutes. Along with the breath, repeat a mantra silently in the mind or aloud. "It's okay," "I am at peace," "I am a worthy person" — repeat phrases of comfort, hope, and affirmation.
Notice stray thoughts during meditation and turn attention back to breathing. Awareness without judgment.
Meditation greatly improves symptoms of anxiety and restlessness. Try to practice it every day.
Recommended books on negotiation: Wharton School Professor Stuart Diamond's "Getting More," and FBI negotiation expert Chris Voss's "Never Split the Difference." Rating ★ 4.5/5