While I had placed a loan request for Lee Geum-hee's "Let's Speak Comfortably" and was waiting, I looked for similar books. Among them, a gem of a book I discovered. Kang Won-guk is someone I had seen once before in an MKYU video. It was a video where he talked about writing and speaking, and even then he conveyed it plainly and comfortably, which was impressive.
This is a book I wish people who want to study speaking would read at least once. From birth, speaking is taken for granted, and everyone speaks while going through daily life, but I have rarely met someone who speaks "well." I felt that to that extent there is no one who pays attention to speech. It unpacks the story of how to speak "well," accompanied by episodes, so it is not difficult.
In my first year of university, among the first courses I entered there was a class called "Speech and Writing." I speak every day, but speaking was really hard. I saw debates turn into quarrels and feelings get hurt, and presentations were what the losers of rock-paper-scissors did. Even now, while working, I always feel difficulty with communication.
What to say when words don't come to mind. The core reason speaking is hard is that you have nothing to say. As long as you have something to say, speaking is not frightening. No—you come to look forward to speaking. Ask questions. The ultimate utility of speech lies in resolving what others are curious about. When you receive a question, it is too late to think of what to say then. Whether it is my thought or my opinion, I must ask myself before others ask and find the answer in advance.
Observe. Description (describing a situation based on what you saw or heard) -> Explanation (so the other person understands easily, with metaphors or examples) -> Commentary (adding your own opinion). When viewpoints and perspectives accumulate, your own philosophy is formed.
Study. You must practice speaking what you studied to yourself or someone. Make it a habit to take notes on what makes sense when you speak it. Vocabulary—if vocabulary is poor, speech becomes impoverished; use the Naver dictionary: development, progress, advancement, improvement, rise, increase, spread, leap, growth, maturation, expansion, enlargement, advance...
Experience is an important capital of speaking. You go through a generalization process of giving meaning to experience and adding citations to make it everyone's experience. Talk conclusion-first. Time is saved, it is logically coherent, and it makes the listener think. Start by saying "Having looked into it, it is like this," "It would be good to do it this way."..
Common traits of people who speak well: they draw up their own thoughts well. They enjoy exploring what their own thoughts are and end up pulling them out. A person who believes in themselves does not fear speaking. They do not read others' reactions, and their self-censorship is not severe. They do not fear failure and take risks. They speak with the thought "no big deal." A person who does not believe in themselves cannot find the right moment and hesitates over whether to step forward. They only recite all kinds of words in their head, or excessively mind "what will others say if I speak like this." They cannot even reveal themselves honestly.
A person who believes in themselves is not excessively swayed by others' words. What is to be accepted, they accept gladly, and to what is to be ignored, they answer refreshingly, "That's your thought, and my thought is different." They do not overreach. They do not strain to appear to have more than they have.
You don't need to be brilliant at the gift of gab. You don't need to be erudite, you don't need to be smooth like flowing water. You may even not need words. As long as you have a warm heart that cares for the other person, that's enough. Nothing to lose, speak preemptively; when you have to give a speech in front of many people, in interviews or presentations and other situations where you are evaluated by speech.. among situations where speaking is scary, the author said the situation that made him most nervous was "having to say a word each in turn." As the turn drew near, his heart pounded, and when it was actually his turn to speak, no thought came at all. The reason is that it is in comparison with the speaking skill of those who spoke before.
It is because those before used up exactly what I was going to say. The further back you go, the more people's expectations grow. If you cannot overcome the trembling, claim the words first. Raise your hand or stand up before others and say, "Let me say a word," "May I speak first?"
Cliché words—if there is a frame, speaking is comfortable. Self-introduction: 1. a connection with someone present at this gathering or place, 2. something to be grateful for, 3. my role and contribution. e.g.) a book club: first, by what reason you came to this gathering, gratitude to the one who invited you, or gratitude that the gathering exists, add compliments if any, and finally a pledge to participate diligently. If there is time, mention about one of your life history, what you like and do well, and what you want to do going forward.
Ordinariness is the basic. The foundation must be solid, and you must first have the frame. Things people want to hear and want to know. 2. words of empathy, 3. words that win favor; find commonalities and emphasize being similar and on the same side, compliment the other, 4. helpful advice and counsel, 5. words suited to the situation, 6. swallowed words.
When you meet someone; prepare a joke, a compliment, and a question. The five enemies that lower the clarity of speech: adding preconditions "~ but..." having no confidence in your own words, making an escape hole in advance, trailing off the end of words. "seems like." "appears to be" "is seen as" --> see. is. ..
Speaking without the subject. As if it's someone else's business. "It is known that ~" overuse of demonstrative pronouns, double negatives, passive forms "is predicted that" "is called" --> "I predict that" "I call it" "Words create reality." Ernest Hemingway: When words change, thoughts and the heart change; when thoughts and the heart change, behavior changes; when behavior changes, habits change; when habits change, reality changes. Everything becomes as you say.
A leader's speaking.
- Competence, self-discipline, the consistency of words and actions
Competence: the ability to organize the gist of speech and grasp the topic, find and correct flaws and errors, and make necessary proposals and answers in the right place at the right time; you need your own view, interpretation, and perspective.
Self-discipline: not getting elated or dejected over the evaluation of your speech. Even in difficult situations, speak of hope and the future. Judgments and decisions are also not confined to your own interest or comfort. You strive to stand for the interest, direction of development, and side of the group you belong to. You have high self-esteem, are full of conviction, and are prepared to take a loss.
Words and actions must match. Reproach: talk in the order of problem-impact-request-recovery. You must also cultivate your voice: vocalization, pronunciation, intonation, volume. Do "a-e-i-o-u" mouth exercises before speaking, speak clearly and distinctly minding pronunciation, and speak with force.
Speech habits: "There's definitely a way," "If not, never mind"..speak positively. Let us be grateful. We do not know how grateful all of this is.